Gas, Groceries and The Price of "Yes"

When I was a small child I looked forward to Saturday mornings because after a few simple chores I received my weekly allowance. I had 25 cents to spend as I wished at the neighbourhood corner store. My sister and I would walk to the store with much anticipation over which candies we would buy that Saturday. As we stood on tippy toes peering over the candy display we deliberated carefully over our choices. Would I choose some Double Bubble and a package of Fun Dip? If I bought the Pop Rocks I would only have one candy but If I purchased the lollipop I could also get some tootsie rolls and save them for later. I knew my resources were limited so I contemplated what would bring me the most joy and pleasure. 

As gas and grocery prices continue to rise I find myself noticing how I once drove anywhere at all without a thought about how much gas I would use or how I never gave a second thought to what I put in my grocery cart and how that has all changed. With the sudden and dramatic increase in costs, I find myself thinking about my travel and my purchases with a little more consideration. What errands can I run in the area of town that I will already be in? I am careful not to buy more than I can eat in a couple of days so as not to waste food by having it go bad. 

I see clients every day who complain of feeling exhausted and being too busy. They are often looking for strategies and habits that will help them to organize their time more efficiently. Time management strategies are helpful in some cases but for most of us, it's really a matter of making an internal shift around how we treat our valuable energy. Your energy, like your gas tank, is limited. Everything that you say "yes" to is an expenditure of your precious energy. But do you stop to think about where you are spending this valuable commodity? Scrolling social media, watching violence and heartbreak on the news, numbing out and disconnecting while binge-watching Netflix are all examples of us spending our energy on things that drain our energetic reserves. Giving our attention and energy to worry, fear, doubt, and complaint are like having a slow leak at the bottom of your gas tank. Sometimes we feel like we must pay attention to all of the atrocities of the world or we are irresponsible. We give a valuable yes to powerlessness and fear.  My 88 year old mother in law who is much wiser than me currently refuses to watch TV because she has already lived through a war. She said,  "If I suffer too, it doesn't make their suffering less." On a recent visit she asked if we could talk about her tulips and her grandchildren; a much better expenditure of her limited energy. 

Likewise, saying yes to people, projects, and activities that don't align with what matters most to you is like giving your hard-earned money away to a cause you don't believe in. Before you know it you are both broke and unsatisfied.  No wonder most of us experience exhaustion and overwhelm more often than we would like; we are giving away our vitality. This is not to say that it's not important to pay attention to world events or to expend energy to make things better at times. I am simply offering a way of thinking that allows you to choose where your energy is best spent. 

What if you treated your "yes" as you would a precious and valuable gold coin? You only have so many coins to give in a day so you might have to think carefully about where you get a good return on your investment. Is watching bad news on TV and having a second glass of wine filling up your reserves or is it a slow and sneaky leak in your tank leaving you feeling disconcerted, restless, and unsatisfied? Is saying yes to all of the experiences and activities that your friends or your kids are involved in actually filling you up or is it leaving you depleted and without time to connect with the most important people in your life? If you are saying yes to being in opposition to something or someone, how much does that drain you? If we continually say yes to things that drain us, we inevitably wind up in "yes debt", not a great place to be. You may be doing all the things while exhausted, resentful, and wishing and hoping for the next break to restore yourself.  

Knowing your "yes" is actually an expenditure of your vital energy you might think more carefully about where and when you give it. Sometimes being a yes for taking a hot bath and reading a good book is far more valuable than saying yes to another dinner out with friends because you value feeling rested and vibrant when you wake up each morning. Perhaps saying yes to a lazy Saturday at home with your loved ones fills up your tank with the premium fuel of love and connection. Saying yes to feeling healthy and vibrant will likely lead to choosing healthy and vibrant meals. Giving your yes to possibility instead of the justification of limitation will lead to feelings of excitement and wonder; a good ROI if you ask me.

In a world where FOMO (the fear of missing out) is so prevalent, we are scattering our energy all over the place and leaving very little for ourselves. I can't help but think about my candy store days and how important my choices seemed to me. My childhood self was a much wiser person than my adult self. She knew that we can create as much joy as we wish when we focus on what would bring us the most pleasure. 

My wish for you is that you recognize that your energy is your most precious gift and that you would cherish it, renew it, and spend it wisely doing things that matter most to you. 

With love and gratitude, 

Pam